THE COMETS.........the disappointing story of the coolest gang that just never was.......COMING SOON
Right where do we start. ok a coastal town. Uk? Australia? US?- doesn't matter. Could be surfing? Big University/College whatever- mainly Arts and Humanities. All the usual Satellite businesses- Thrift shops, Record Stores and scummy bars/ coffeshops/ poolhalls. So Carlo Lives there. Has done since he left his arts degree- as has his girl Janie. they should of both left a long time ago. Carlo works in "Vinyl Solution"- the appaullingly named grand pubah of record shops in this town. Basically, your Zappa, your Mr. Fingers, your Link Wray- your whatever starts out in carboot sales/charity shops just outside town -moves to the thrifty type places those in the know frequent where it languishes for a coupla weeks before moving by osmosis to 'The Solution for a hugely inflated fee. God knows what Janie does- she's always got money to spend on pills and thrills. Probably involves phones somewhere. She could be working with Simo -yeah why not- he's gotta make some money somehow. After all his messing around with old synths isn't getting him anywhere fast. Doesn't talk to Janie though, or anyone at work for that matter. Is largely friendless. Says a few words to Carlo when he does his weekly record trawl about doing something musical but really his only two real friends are Luella and Kaspar. Kaspar and his girl Astrid are two of the most celebrated of the Towns small foreign student population. Luella sings like an smokey angel and waits tables. Luella and Simo have been trying to put music together since they met to no avail. She's all Marlena Shaw and Gil Scott Heron- he more Einsterzende Neubauten. However, with Astrid immersed in Sport'n'studies- Kaspar, Simo and Luella spend most of their time getting drunk. Unfortunately A and K have started playing on their nordic exoticism a little toooo much these days and now most crashed parties end in an altercation. The last unfortunately scuppered Simo's plans to steal Damo from his terrible garage band into a kind of Suicide style combo. Basically at Damo's house party- Luella had spotted her irrattating ex-girlfriend Jess with her new girl- the sooooomuchmore proper lesbian Raquel. When Luella had met Jess she was all snot, tears and homesickness- she'd moved here with her boyfriend who had dumped her within the week and her recovery had involved transformation into superdyke. Of course she had pissed Luella around something rotten at the beggining -not ready for a full blown relationship etc. which had Luella hooked. And then when realised that her new doe-eyed non-scene girlfriend wasn't going to play happy pridemarch lesbians- dumped her for the comical Raquel. Simo, Astrid and Kaspar consequently hated Jess and after a litre of Metaxas and several rounds of Caipiranahs, Kaspar and Luella started making very loud and rude jokes about body hair. Raquel punches Kaspar. Damo sees a smirking bloody nosed Scando homophobe. Not cool at your hipster party- the three are ejected and Simo's synth rock duo never happens. Mind you neither does Damo's album contract when on the eve of their first promotional tour The Teeth's bass player Sam cacthes a last minute to Thailand after realising quite how much he has fallen in love with Damo's girlfriend Dot. Damo will never know why. Neither will Dot inspite of carrying an heavyduty-everyready torch for Sam. You see Damo's kind of dumb. good-looking nice guy and in a band after all- but when S and D would turn up loaded and Damo would be chucking his guts up, farting and cussing in sequence,- it would be Sam, poor wrecked Sam who she would put to bed. Once Sam had "sleepwalked" across into Maya, her flatmate's room and the pair had not emerged util 4.00pm the next day. Dot had not been happy. lathough this was really her only beef with Maya- who otherwise was the perfect be continued